Shookt in the Desert

Hey world! I missed writing so much. And as per usual, I was in pause for a little while due to the fact that I transitioned to the next phase of my life. You heard it right! I was successful in achieving my goal that by the time I age 25, I already had flown abroad and work.

I felt like I was really destined to work abroad. Even while I was in college, It had marked in my mind that I would go. It was a painful process though. Not everything I felt on the process was sweet. It was hella-bitter! Little by little, as the days went by, my heart also was tearing into pieces for I know I would leave my family and special people back in the Philippines. I was sad. I still am. But I know this sadness will fade this phase of suffering for the fruit is just waiting to ripen and savor.

Well, fast forward, I am here in Riyadh,  Saudi Arabia. I am currently working as an English Teacher in an International School for boys. I got culture shock at first knowing how hot, not just warm but hot, it is here. Then you’ll get to the freezing cold room. My body is still adjusting to the temperature change. Hence, daily nosebleeding.

Having my fellow Filipino teachers along makes the adjustment a little easier because in the villa, we would just talk in Tagalog and live as if we are in the Philippines. I felt the sudden change once we step out of the villa. But I am carrying over.

I’m on my week 3 and it is not a good start though for we are waiting for the announcement that none of us want to be part with. Last Thursday, our supervisor told us that they are in the look for the teachers who will be sent back home. We are feeling the crisis as well. They are to look if who is interested to move back to their country. I was thinking a last-in-first-out case. Since we are the last ones who take part in the faculty, it will be easier to let us go back for we don’t have the complete set requirements. I’m half-hearted about this for I also want to go home. To just live with the love of my life and my family and friends. To just look for a different job or a country that is more open than this. but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity of growing and saving up for my family. I had a goal but it’s scattered all over the place because of that announcement. Also, the kids here are really challenging your patience. I never had experience working in an all boys school and I’m getting a hold of it now. It’s tough.

Even I pray to God to give me the presence of mind to survive, I was also considering to accept the invitation to move back to the Philippines If I were to get some money to pay for what I have loaned. Is it worth a try? 3 weeks and I’m about to consider giving up?

Deep sigh.

Suddenly, I felt a squeezed feeling in my heart. I am having difficulty shouting. I’m not suited for disciplining the kids by just raising my voice. I always believe that there is such thing as positive disciplining. But apparently, the culture here is different. Students are used to teachers shouting and scolding them. Even spanking the kids once they are on the same raise is fine. A lot are really different from where I taught before. I feel like having to experience adult learning made me so ready to deal with adults more than dealing with kids. 2 years had past and I got a little rustic in disciplining children.

Another deep sigh.

Too much things to handle may result to breakdowns in different forms. What more for 2 years to teach in a very culturally different environment should I endure.

It’s really getting into my nerves and I couldn’t even take it. Please let the announcement be held later and don’t let our agony squander around.